burning man is for hipster losers. good luck! it is basically a herpes festival for transplants.
A 9-year-old girl at a shooting range 25 miles from Las Vegas accidentally killed a shooting instructor when she lost control of the Uzi she was firing on its fully automatic setting. From the Las Vegas Review-Journal.
Go USA! Maybe her New Jersey parents had just watched Red Dawn? The gun “instructor” was a complete idiot. So were the girl’s parents. But of course, this will just be called a “tragic accident” and nothing will be done. Of course, the Uzi is an Israeli-made machine gun. Will Israel be held accountable for this terrorist attack on U.S. soil?
Although heavily disguised with rock star shades, wafts of cigarette smoke, and a shaggy mop of burka-like hair, the Bessbrook (N.I.) office of MI6 was able to positively identify a 70 year old English gentleman by the name of Keith Richards as being “thoroughly and unequivocally” involved in James Foley’s “unfortunate demise.” The positive identification was based primarily on an in-depth analysis of the murmurs, grunts, and expletives made in the video by a man with a London-area accent.
Mr. Richards provided a detailed and candid statement denying any and all involvement in the sordid and violent episode. However, the statement was wholly unintelligible, even to the MI6 linguistic experts and Navajo code-breaker specialists who had originally linked Mr. Richards to this shocking incident of ultra-violence. Mr. Richards’ barrister had no further comment, aside from mentioning he (the barrister) would need a new hairpiece that would not be overshadowed by his client’s natural hair.
Neighbors interviewed for this article praised Mr. Richards as being “quiet and considerate,” though all noted his habit of oft arriving home well after three in the morning…